All posts in Music

Turn Up the Faders

I heard this song on Insomnia Radio and was crushed under its weight. I immediately sought out Nathan Asher’s site and demanded he provide a way for me to buy his album.

Listen and tremble.

Turn up the Faders
– Nathan Asher

Light strikes the suburbs in the summer,
Water trickles and runs down the faces of children,
Laughter echoes rising
As they slip between the sprinklers.
Faces eager for no reason,
Is it the season, is that it?
This used to be enough for me but now it isn’t,
I need some different entertainment.

So we take the A-Train into the city,
Stick seats shake at the station,
Pretty women’s footsteps drag them disappearing,
From the cave of the tunnel dragon,
Into the open high-rises, skyscrapers,
Street urchins come to siege us,
Corner preachers carry Jesus,
Like he carried the cross, toss leaflets.
All this misdirected lust,
All these, all these, all these people,
As dusk turns into evening,
We just get funneled to the clubs.

So come on turn up the faders,
Sooner or later bring the beat in,
I need it, I wanna feel lit,
Like a fetus feels the heartbeat
Of his mother when he’s sleeping,
Beating constantly,
You are encouraged to dance emphatically,
Manically, even desperately,
Cause who knows where this is heading?
I’m in the backroom, drunk,
The stars cut chunks out of the darkness.
It’s a portrait of the young artist,
As another target market,
Playing dumb in the club,
And using liquor as a tourniquet,
Lets succumb to our desires,
Or we’ll become just like our fathers,
Bang into each other
Until the lights smother us
And we go under.

Outside is a storm, it feels like a set,
It feels so unreal.

Turn up the faders,
Sooner or later bring the beat in,
I need it, I wanna feel it,
I’m in the bathroom, drunk,
The months cut chunks out of the summer,
Days get longer, minutes get faster,
I get older, the weather gets colder,
They might sleep out in the suburbs,
But not here, not here,
Come on turn up the faders,
Sooner or later bring the beat in,
I need it, I wanna feel it, I wanna feel it.

All my friends hold their glasses,
Roses by the stem,
Lean in like trees blown by wind in a garden,
Fall and play jester, at the feet of dark-eyed women,
Whose every hidden glance,
Holds a chance at new beginnings,
Here’s to all the new beginnings,
We never got back from.
Never go home,
Never go home,
Never go home alone.

The Soundtrack Continues

Solitary Shell
– Dream Theater

He seemed no different from the rest
Just a healthy normal boy
His mama always did her best
And he was daddy’s pride and joy

He learned to walk and talk on time
But never cared much to be held
and steadily he would decline
Into his solitary shell

As a boy he was considered somewhat odd
Kept to himself most of the time
He would daydream in and out of his own world
but in every other way he was fine

He’s a Monday morning lunatic
Disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself
In his solitary shell

A temporary catatonic
Madman on occasion
When will he break out
Of his solitary shell

He struggled to get through his day
He was helplessly behind
He poured himself onto the page
Writing for hours at a time

As a man he was a danger to himself
Fearful and sad most of the time
He was drifting in and out of sanity
But in every other way he was fine

He’s a Monday morning lunatic
Disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself
In his solitary shell

A momentary maniac
With casual delusions
When will he be let out
Of his solitary shell

Soundtrack for today

Catapult
– Counting Crows

All of a sudden she disappears
Just yesterday she was here
Somebody tell me if I am sleeping
Someone should be with me here
Cause I don’t wanna be alone

I wanna be the knife that cuts into my hand
And I wanna be scattered from here in this catapult
What a big baby won’t somebody save me please
You won’t find nobody home

All of these quiet battered voices
Wait for the hunger to come
We got little revolvers and stupid choices
And no one to say when we’re done
Well I don’t wanna bring you down

I wanna be the light that burns out your eyes
Cause I know there’s little things about me
That would sing in the silence of so much rejection
In every connection I make
I can’t find nobody home

I wanna be the last thing that you hear when you’re falling asleep….

Listening to Haughty Melodic

Tremendous Brunettes
– Mike Doughty

All them tremendous brunettes around…

Slow down, don’t fuck with my high
I want to be left alone here with my monsters and
Say, now it’s time to ride
To see lovely girls and to not put the moves on them

Praise now the baby genius
She skips in the shade of the lonely sour apple tree
While she snaps on her gum
Her gleaming teeth bared and the shine that she shows to me

All of your ill-gotten gains
That you have whipped up to a rich, foamy lather, girl
Nameless gnaw of my pains
Like three hundred trumpets, and just one is out of tune

Since I Gave up Hope I Feel a Lot Better

I’ve been looking for a song to serve as a soundtrack for these musings, for this week. All the old standards just didn’t suffice. But then it came to me.

Here lies the answer and end to the quest.

Bad
-U2

If you twist and turn away
If you tear yourself in two again
If I could, yes I would
If I could, I would
Let it go
Surrender
Dislocate

If I could throw this
Lifeless lifeline to the wind
Leave this heart of clay
See you walk, walk away
Into the night
And through the rain
Into the half-light
And through the flame

If I could through myself
Set your spirit free
I’d lead your heart away
See you break, break away
Into the light
And to the day

To let it go
And so to fade away
To let it go
And so fade away

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Wide awake
I’m not sleeping
Oh, no, no, no

If you should ask then maybe they’d
Tell you what I would say
True colors fly in blue and black
Bruised silken sky and burning flag
Colors crash, collide in blood shot eyes

If I could, you know I would
If I could, I would
Let it go…

This desperation
Dislocation
Separation
Condemnation
Revelation
In temptation
Isolation
Desolation
Let it go

And so fade away
To let it go
And so fade away
To let it go
And so to fade away

I’m wide awake
I’m wide awake
Wide awake
I’m not sleeping…

Everything’s Not Lost

Tonight I realized that, if I’m not careful, I start running a script in my head about how things “ought” to be in a given situation. Like at a concert, you’re supposed to do certain things, act a certain way. It’s game theory, really, the semi-conscious response to unwritten social rules. I find that when I obey the script and not my heart, I am very unhappy. The script said I needed to be at the concert with someone, perhaps a pretty girl. I was supposed to be a big fan and shiver in anticipation. I was supposed to jump around and be excited that someone was playing on the stage. I find that I can’t even walk straight when I’m going against my own path, let alone put on some facade of “thrilled concert goer.” As soon as I stopped scoping out women, stopped feeling sorry about the fact that I was there by myself, stopped being concerned about what I should do when the band was playing, I became supremely happy and at ease. It was perfectly okay to sit and write and occasionally remember that Coldplay was putting on a great show. I didn’t want my thoughts interrupted. I didn’t want to worry if some hypothetical date was having a good time. I didn’t want a script to interfere with my sense of self or my peace.

Inspiration

Sometimes I wonder why I find myself in certain situations, but then a magical catalyst of environment and circumstance gels together to inspire an idea. Tonight, at the excellent Coldplay concert, I was struck by an idea for House of Whack so brilliant that I impressed myself. I sat on the hillside of the Journal Pavilion, scribbling on my notepad while my muse played on stage, accompanied by some of the best visual effects I had seen at a concert.

In my own playtesting of version 2, I have been surprised at how much better the game is. I am rarely ecstatic about anything I’ve made, but I have to say that I’m feeling pretty clever lately. Version 2 is very, very good. But this epiphany I had tonight kicks the dial up to 11. I’ve devised something so astonishing and cool. It will demonstrate the power and flexibility of the Whack system. Yes, “system.” As in d20, as in GURPS.

On the other hand, I might be the only one interested in this idea at all, but we’ll see…

Solitary Shell

Solitary Shell
– Dream Theater

He seemed no different from the rest
Just a healthy normal boy
His mama always did her best
And he was daddy’s pride and joy

He learned to walk and talk on time
But never cared much to be held
and steadily he would decline
Into his solitary shell

As a boy he was considered somewhat odd
Kept to himself most of the time
He would daydream in and out of his own world
but in every other way he was fine

He’s a Monday morning lunatic
Disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself
In his solitary shell

A temporary catatonic
Madman on occasion
When will he break out
Of his solitary shell

He struggled to get through his day
He was helplessly behind
He poured himself onto the page
Writing for hours at a time

As a man he was a danger to himself
Fearful and sad most of the time
He was drifting in and out of sanity
But in every other way he was fine

He’s a Monday morning lunatic
Disturbed from time to time
Lost within himself
In his solitary shell

A momentary maniac
With casual delusions
When will he be let out
Of his solitary shell

Theme Song

Salome continues to haunt me from the day I heard it. For me, Salome isn’t a woman in particular, but the sentiment of lost love, a relationship disillusioned by reasons inexplicable and shifting.
While the original Old 97s version is good, I’ve come to prefer the cover by Ryan and his friends on “Passing For Normal.”

Salome, uncross your heart
I know what goes on inside it’s over before it starts
Well I’ll stay all night, I’ll wait right here
Full moon might work magic, girl but I won’t disappear.

And I’m tired of makin’ friends.
And I’m tired of makin’ time.
And I’m sick to death of love.
And I’m sick to death of tryin’.
And it’s easier for you
Yeah it’s easier for you.

And it’s easier for you
Yeah it’s easier for you.

Salome, untie my hands
Well I’ll find another lady
And you’ll wreck another man.
It’s over now, and so are we
My blood’s turned to dirt girl
You broke every part of me

And I’m tired of makin’ friends.
And I’m tired of makin’ time.
And I’m sick to death of love.
And I’m sick to death of tryin’.

And it’s easier for you.
Yeah it’s easier for you.

Torn

I fear nothing
Besides myself
Please don’t touch me
Love like an infant trying to stand up

Am I two souls
One hard, one whole
Am I real
I don’t want to feel anything
Anymore

I feel nothing
Besides this pain
Please don’t watch me
Love like an infant
Scared and crawling

– Toad the Wet Sprocket